Jumping off of a bridge. :)

Today has been a good day.

First of all, I got to sleep in until about 11:30 which I haven't been able to do in MONTHS! It felt good. I actually had to convince myself to stay in bed. My poor working brain said that we needed to get up and do something productive, but I said "Nuh-uh!" When I finally climbed out of bed, Adrian told me I needed to call Jimmy Stone.
"Uh, okay." I chuckled. "What am I calling him about?"
"I don't know. Daddy just said  you need to call him."
Oh yeah, that would be a great conversation.
"Hey Jimmy. I don't know why I called, I was just told I need to talk to you. I have no idea why, though."
That totally wouldn't be weird at all.
So, I went and cleaned myself up before feeded horses. I found my father and Mr. Johnson fixing a pretty blue truck in the garage... Unfortuneately it did not become my truck. Sad day. :(
;)
Any way, when I got back from feeding said horses, I found Jimmy Stone in the garage all ready to go running at Jack Brooks. So we (being Austin, Jimmy, Mr. Stone and I) loaded up in their van, and went down to Jack Brooks Park.
First, let me say this. It has been raining here for almost two days strait, and being South East Texas the dirt is is mostly clay. The bike trails we run at Jack Brooks are more clay than not. That makes for a very slick running surface. Needless to say, I ended up on my backside. XD
So, we ran the trails, getting wetter and muddier with each step. It was a little chilly, but after we got started, we warmed right up. It's so much fun out there. And really pretty (I mean, as pretty as Texas can be). We ran through puddles, up and down hills, ankle deep in mud and water to some picnic tables where we sat to take a breather. Gosh, it exausted me. I don't know why I got so tired so quick. I hadn't really eaten much that morning... Maybe that has something to do with it...  But I got all lightheaded and stuff. It made me sick. But, I got over it. It was too much fun to let that slow me down.
When we finished on the bike trials we ended up back over by the bridge that spans the canal. There was a little sluice ramp that let out in the canal just before the bridge. It had a good amount of water running down, pretty fast too, and it was covered with algea, making it very slick and slimy. A perfect water slide. ;) I was completely barefooted, and with the rocks at the bottom of the slide it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to go down the slide, so Austin and Jimmy did. I just sat at the top of it letting the watter run past me, but when I went to stand up... I ended up going down the slide anyway. XD It really wasn't that bad, the rocks were bretty blunt, and it was actually a super fun.
Then we decided to jump off the bridge. I'd say it was about a fifteen for twenty foot drop from the bottom side of the bridge to the water. Jimmy waded out to the middle of the canal to see how deep it was, then he climbed back out and hug over the edge of the bridge.
"It's kinda high." he called to us.
"Don't do it Jimmy!" I called back, jokingly. "Don't do it! It's not worth it! You have your whole life ahead of you! Think of your family!"
"Yeah," Mr. Stone said. "That's why he's jumping."
Jimmy hesitated some more. I figured he might need a little help.
"Three! Two! One!" and he let go.
When he surfaced again, he gasped at the cold.
"It's cold! It's so cold!" he informed us, as he swam toward the sluice.
"I was prepared for, you know, getting stuck in the mud or fighting off aligators, but I was not expecting it to be that cold!"
So me and Austin decided  to do it with him. ;) I borrowed Jimmy's shoes. I mean, who knows what kind of sharp things are down there? Then we climbed the railing, and looked down.
Oh dear. Oh dear. What am I doing? What was a thinking?
"Ready?" Jimmy looked at us. Austin and I smiled at him. "We'll go simultaneously."
I looked at Austin. "You ready?"
"Three. Two. One."
We jumped. I wasn't scared until I was about halfway between the bridge and the water, and then I realized. "Huh. It's a lot bigger of a drop than I realized." I plugged my nose, but when I hit the water, my hand was ripped from my face and my head filled with water. It did not smell or taste good, at all. When my head broke the surface my body was tense from the adreniline, and the cold water. My limbs tinglied, my arms screamed for me to stopped swimming, my lungs burned for air.
But.
It was so incredibly fun. I could not wipe the smile from my face. My body was vibrating, my fingers were clumsy, but the thrill of it would not wear off. It was amazing. I thought jumping off of a telephone pole (with a harness, obviously) was exhilarating. Phew. That was great.
Now I'm sitting here eating bagle chips and cream cheese, listening to Mr. Stone and Jimmy talk to my mom about docter stuff, and hospital visits. And I feel good.
I feel good. :)

You know how I was talking about how much the Lord loves me?

It just got better.
Turns out, not only will I be going to the Dial Up Tour tonight with my best friend, but I am also going to Waller, and I am going to the dance. :) Nothing short of a miracle. I cannot express how happy I am right now.

Let me show you just how much the Lord loves me. :)

"Thy will be done." It' kind of like the magic words. Of course, and obviously, you have to mean it. You have to sincerely be okay and accepting of whatever the Lord plans for you, even of you have no idea how it will turn out. Even if you don't like how it will turn out.

I have three big things I'm excited for right now.
1: Seeing Olan Rodgers
2: Going to Waller for that open house, and
3: The dance on Saturday.

Very exciting things. But, originally I thought I had to pick one out of all three. I thought they were all on Saturday, the 11th. The choice was really hard. REALLY hard. But, Olan Rodgers was a Christmas present from Maggie, and we had that planned way before anything else. So, naturally, I decided to go with Maggie.
Well, with this weekend coming up, I called Maggie to solidify our plans.
Our battle plan was that I would go to Maggie's house Friday night, sleep over and then go to the shindig Saturday night. So I call Maggie, and the most wonderful thing happened. Turns out the Olan thing is on Friday night. Not Saturday. Which means I can go to both The Dial-Up Tour, and the open house. That in itself made me indescribably happy, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to sleep over Thursday night because I have work on Friday.
I told Maggie I would try to get that day off, but I couldn't make any promises.
Well, today I asked my manager, with no high hopes might I add, if there was any possible way I could get Friday off. She looked at the schedule. Flipped through the pages. I went back to working, keeping her in the corner of my eye. She asked my coworker, nick, a question I couldn't hear. He said, "Yeah! No, that's fine." Then I walked back over and she said, "You got Friday off."
I must confess. I shouted for joy. I thanked Nick who in turned thanked me because he needed the extra hours. Double sides blessings. The lord loves more than me. :)
So, now I just have to see when we're leaving for Waller so I can estimate just how little sleep I'm going to get Friday night after the tour and before the road trip up there. And I need to see when we'll get back, and see if there's any chance of me going to the dance.
We'll see.
Right now, I'm pretty content.
Thy will be done.
And Thank Thee.

People crack me up.

So I work at McDonald's now, in case some of you didn't know. I usually work at front counter, and so I interact with a lot of different people from a lot of different walks of life. The fun part is that I can usually guess not only what they want to eat, but also if they want large or medium (or if they want a meal at all), and if they want it for here or to-go. I'd say 90% of the time I'm right.

The other fun part is having guys my age come in. I'd say 90% of them flirt with me, some more severely than others. Some just give a goofy smiles, while other just come right out and ask for my number (which they don't get. I tell them I don't have a phone, which is... Kind of true... ). Well today one guy came in laughing and joking around with his friend. As usual, I flipped my ears off so I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. (Did you know that the favorite swear word of Texans is the S-word. Yeah, I figured that out... -_- ) Any they ordered and went and sat down. Seeing that I had no other customers to serve, I went to check the lobby: picked up garbage, cleared tables, etc, etc. When I passed their table this guys said, "Hey!"
I turned and smiled politely. "Yes, sir?"
"I like your name."
I hadn't even thought he had seen my name.
"Thank you." I said and smiled again. I walked back to my post, and after a while they got up to refill their drinks and leave. He looked at me and pointed to the dollar menu. "How long have y'all had this?"
"The dollar menu?"
"Yeah!"
"Uh, I don't know. For forever."
"Aw man. I ain't never seen it." At this point they were headed out the door.
"I guess it was just blocked by your pretty face!"
The door shut so I couldn't say anything. I just chuckled and shook my head.
People crack me up.

My bike ride.

So, last night I finally got bike tires and inter-tubes for my thirty-or-so year old bike. This morning me and my dad put them on, and it felt so good to have my bike back! Now I didn't have to walk to work any more. ;) Anyway, after work I took a shower, ate some good bread and went on a nice long bike ride... I think it was about two hours long. Since we moved I haven't really had a chance to explore all these roads around here, and I thought today would be a perfect opportunity to go on an adventure. So, I started off turning left down 32nd street, which (if you've been to my house, you know what I'm talking about) is the road where you turn onto ours. So, I went down there, because I had been there with Brittany Hamiter on our horses before, and I thought I'd start with somewhere I knew. (That was also the day Brittany and Madeline got attacked by a dog...) After a while I started getting adventurous. I would turn down any road I passed; ninety percent of which were dead ends, all the while listening to (and situating) my Sansa and headphones. (I had started out just holding my Sansa, but after a while that got annoying so I dared to put it in my pocket, hoping it wouldn't fall out. After adjusting the headphone cord just right, it was much better.) It was one of those days where the sun was bright and hot, but there was just enough breeze and shade to make it so you didn't over-heat... but I was still sweating. >_< I came down... what road is that? I don't remember what it's called, but about half way down this border collie, and this other black mutt-dog came running out and started chasing me. At first I was a little nervous; I don't trust dogs much, but after a moment I realized they just wanted to run. I was surprised that the border collie was keeping up with me so easily. It was running right along side my bike. So I started going faster, and faster. The dog went faster, and faster too, and right about that time Decode by Paramore started playing on my Sansa. It was awesome because it started at a perfect time, and the border collie was running in sinc with the music; but eventually he dropped off, leaving only the little black one, who was running in the ditches. He kept running for about another hundred feet or so, before he gave up. By the time I slowed down, my legs felt like jelly. :3 The car who had been behind me the whole time pulled ahead, and the lady gave me a big smile as thanks for the show. I smiled back. :D
So, after that I continued my journey down the roads with the beautiful sun beating down, and the wonderful breeze against my face; the feeling of acceleration and freedom making my heart sing. ^_^ I wandered down all kinds of dead end roads and streets, looking at all the beautiful (and not so beautiful) houses. I thought... this neighborhood is tons better than the one we used to have. I came to a stop sign: I could either turn around, or ride on 646... I hate traffic, so I decided to turn around and explore some more dead end roads. They're always more interesting anyway.
Just my luck to go on a bike ride when the kids are getting out of school, and the place is crawling with school buses. *rolls eyes* Great. I came to a stop sign, and waited until one of those stupid buses finished turning. As it drove away some boy leaned out the window and shouted something at me. I had my headphones on so I didn't hear what he said, so I just smiled and waved at him all pleasant like (in a bitter and spiteful kind of way). Then I turned down Ave G and adventured down there... nothing exciting happened, except I felt a little lonely. I took this twisty-turny, round-about way back to the "main road". I don't know what road that is... I guess I should... I even looked at the street sign. :P Anyway, a school bus passed me... the same one that kid was in. He leaned out the window again, and said something. Again, I couldn't hear him, so he started making all these provocative faces at me... I just gave him the "how-dare-you-live-on-the-same-planet-as-me" look and about that time the school bus turned and I never saw him again!... He kinda looked like Travis Smithley...
I got back on 32nd, considering going back home (because I would pass my street), but I didn't want to... So I didn't. ;) I continued on, taking random roads; whichever ones I felt like. I turned down one... I don't know it's name, and when I got to the end I stopped and looked around because it seemed so familiar to me... Then I looked out past the end of the road, and there was Helen's house: The place I work at. Then an idea popped in my head.
If this it that road... then maybe I should try to find the road where the camp ground is...
Needless to say, by the time I got back to 32nd street I had totally forgotten. :P
So, I continued to adventure. I went down every road I came across. My favorite so far is tied between Ave D1/2 and Ave. E. Ave. E is pretty fantastic, though there was no shade. At first I thought: this sun is gonna kill me. I'm already sweating to death. Then I thought: Hey! Sunshine! I love sunshine! Hello sunshine! :D And I rolled up my sleeves to let my poor pale shoulders share the rays. (Between you and me, I have a perfect farmer's tan going on. ;} ) In all honesty I hadn't felt so good in a very long time. My legs were tired; sure. I was out of breath; of course! (I was thinking about this time that if I were in Pennsylvania; with it's twisting, hilly roads; on a bike ride in the shape I'm in I would die! How did I do it when I was five?!) But that's what made it so good! XD On Ave. E there was this lovely little gray horse who looked so lonely. :\ I wanted to bring him home with me! :X Oh well. On my way back I saw him getting a drink out of a pulchritudinous pond and I thought Nah, he's happy where he is. I could just tell. ;)
After my adventure with E I got back on 32nd and decided I better go home. It was getting kind of late, and I thought I should spend the rest of this beautiful day with my family.  (I have a pretty great family.) I looked on the other side of the road, the one I hadn't adventured on yet and decided I'd do one more. I picked a road called Greenbriar; a road that had attracted me before. I started down the shaded street and, again, I seemed to recognize it. Then I realized why: At the very end, where the road stopped was a "No trespassing" sign, and further down was another sign that said "The Haven". Miraculously, and quite on accident, I had found the camp ground.
I figured it was time to go home for real now, though I had hours of daylight left. When I got home I felt so refreshed; so much better and happier than I had before. That time alone with nothing but my music and the world for company had woken me up. I started seeing things for what they are: the chickens as our chickens. As part of my life, and I could see the blessing they bring; Que and Sadie as my best friends rather than my horses; I saw my family as the best thing I could ever ask for, and I saw our house for what it really could be: my home. I saw our wonderfully free "country" life as perfect. Even the rotting skin on the bull's head was beautiful to me. On my much needed bike ride I felt whole, loved, useful, fulfilled, blessed, special, and I realized: You know... life isn't so bad. :)
As many times as I complain I have to say: Texas is quite beautiful in it's own flat, boring, hot and sticky way.
The only thing that could have made it better is if I could have shared it with someone...

 K'yeah! I wish Texas has roads like that!

Winter: My Secret by Christina Rossetti

I tell my secret? No indeed, not I:
Perhaps some day, who knows?
But not today; it froze, and blows and snows,
And you're too curious: fie!
You want to hear it? well:
Only, my secret's mine, and I won't tell.

Or, after all, perhaps there's none:
Suppose there is no secret after all,
But only just my fun.
Today's a nipping day, a biting day;
In which one wants a shawl,
A veil, a cloak, and other wraps:
I cannot ope to everyone who taps,
And let the draughts come whistling thro' my hall;
Come bounding and surrounding me,
Come buffeting, astounding me,
Nipping and clipping thro' my wraps and all.
I wear my mask for warmth: who ever shows
His nose to Russian snows
To be pecked at by every wind that blows?
You would not peck? I thank you for good will,
Believe, but leave the truth untested still.

Spring's an expansive time: yet I don't trust
March with its peck of dust,
Nor April with its rainbow-crowned brief showers,
Nor even May, whose flowers
One frost may wither thro' the sunless hours.

Perhaps some languid summer day,
When drowsy birds sing less and less,
And golden fruit is ripening to excess,
If there's not too much sun nor too much cloud,
And the warm wind is neither still nor loud,
Perhaps my secret I may say,
Or you may guess.

-Christina Rossetti-

Be My Escape by Reliant K

I've given up on giving up slowly.
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world  that shares my fate.
This one last bullet you mentioned
Is my one last shot at redemption.
'Cause I know to live you must give your life away.

And I've been housing all this doubt,
And insecurity, and I've been
Locked inside that house,
All the while you hold the key, and I've been
Dying to get out.
And that might be the death of me, and even though
There's no way of knowing where to go,
I promise I'm going, because...

I gotta get out of here.
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into my mistake.
I gotta get out of here.
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape.

I'm giving up on doing this alone now,
'Cause I failed and I'm ready to be shown how.
You've told me the way and I'm trying to get there.
And this life sentence that I'm serving,
I admit that I'm every bit deserving.
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

And I've been housing all this doubt,
And insecurity, and I've been
Locked inside that house,
All the while you hold the key, and I've been
Dying to get out.
And that might be the death of me, and even though
There's no way of knowing where to go,
I promise I'm going, because...

I gotta get out of here.
'Cause I'm afraid that this complaisantcy is something I can't shake.
Yeah.
I gotta get out of here.
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity.
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made.
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me.
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave...


And I've been housing all this doubt,
And insecurity, and I've been
Locked inside that house,
All the while you hold the key, and I've been
Dying to get out,
And that might be the death of me, and even though
There's no way of knowing where to go,
I promise I'm going, because...

I gotta get out of here.
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into my mistake.
I gotta get out of here.
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape.

I fought you for so long. I should have let you in.
(Oh how we regret those things we do)
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin.
(Oh-oh)
But, so were you...
So...were...you...